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How to repair new relationship after I fucked up
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Poly person (30NB) here. Recently started dating an incredible new guy, G. G and I are incredibly compatible and are talking about being each other's primaries. We've been dating for 2 months.

I have 2 other partners, X (NB) who is a long-distance non-sexual partner, and Z (F) who is a more local partner whom I see irregularly - our last date together was back in September. Both have HSV1 (oral herpes). I do not, and I get tested for it regularly.

G deals with chronic illness...and I realized I'd forgotten to tell them about X and Z's HSV1. We had the sexual health discussion and I told them my status but I realized I'd forgotten to disclose that my other partners have that.

When I realized I'd forgotten (I'm going to see Z next week after months apart) I plunged into a panic and I've been dealing with an ongoing anxiety attack and the desire to self-harm because I feel like a monster. I can't believe I forgot...I've been burnt out and overwhelmed at work lately, but that's no excuse and I feel like I'm evil and undeserving of someone like G. I'm so used to being punished and yelled at or outright dumped once I make a mistake, and I'm afraid that's what I deserve.

Is there anything I can do here to repair this? G and I are having a talk tomorrow...my plan is to get a full STD panel with HSV1 testing and set up ground rules for disclosing when one of us is involved with someone new. How else can I make it right?

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Profile updated: 1 week ago
Posts updated: 11 months ago

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11 months ago