My partner (F27) and I (M26) have been ENM for nearly 3 years. I’ve had a string of really bad dating experiences and I’m looking for advice on how to protect my heart (I’m also in therapy, if that bears any impact on responses here). I’m a person who “shows up” for others. I really enjoy being a supportive partner and I don’t mind doing various types of labor to make others feel valued and cared for. But recently, a lot of folks have taken advantage of that.

Most recently, I had a quasi-FWB end things because she “stopped being excited to see me”. This came after about 6 weeks of her semi-ghosting me, so I knew something was up. But the lack of a specific reason for why I stopped exciting her has really messed me up. Against my better judgment, I ended up matching with someone on Feeld. She was incredibly flirty and talkative, and we set a date quickly. Date went amazingly well, and I felt safe enough to go back to her place. That also was nice, but she immediately pulled away after I said I enjoyed spending time with her and wanted to see her again. After going radio silent for a couple days, she unmatched me. I feel really devastated because it’s like I ran into a completely different person after the date. She had heaped praise on me for being so attentive and nice, but then it all went away seemingly overnight.

How do I remain true to myself as I date without being open to folks taking advantage of who I am?