Howdy. While I am an experienced ENM person, in my past relationships where we said "I love you" it started pretty early, like within the first few months. However since those relationships / a general hardening of my heart / taking things more slowly, I've been finding myself taking longer to develop feelings.

And...well, I'm developing feelings. But they're for my long-distance queer-platonic partner of 2 years and my more local partner of 9 months.

It's not the "OMG I LOVE YOU" but it's...I just love the fact that they exist. Their quirks and idiosyncrasies and kindness. I love getting messages from them, and the limited time I get to spend with either of them.

I know neither of them are good co-habitate, anchor/nesting partners, but I love that they're in my life.

However, both of them are extremely busy. My long-distance partner is overwhelemd with work and some other personal things, so we only do video calls every few weeks and see each other maybe twice a year. My more local partner is moving in with her primary/anchor partner and dealing with moving stuff, so she's overwhelmed as well and we don't get a lot of personal time (though we've set up regular video dates which have been lovely).

I guess my question is: if you were going through a lot, would you want a partner to tell you they loved you/were falling in love with you? And if so, should I reassure them that it's not me trying to get them to change, it's just how I feel?

Because I feel like I'm going to slip up soon and just blurt it out at the end of a call. Every time.