I'm a 40 y/o man in a marriage that has recently become ENM. I'm currently a non-traditional (read older) law student and am attracted to numerous women in my school, including a few that are even close to my age.

Every time I think about asking anybody out my mind races ahead to what I assume is the inevitable moment in which I reveal that I am interested in them romantically and physically, and I'm married, and yes I have permission, no I'm not cheating. I feel that if I were a woman I would never trust a man who said that to me. Am I just projecting, or is this a natural hurdle? Some know my wife which complicates things. I can't fathom asking my wife to vouch for me. While she encouraged our ENM, she has indicated that she'd prefer subtlety.

Is this just my cross to bear? Is it best to avoid dating in a closed community?