Hey everyone, just posting here in lack of a better idea. My(M22) gf of 6 years R(F23) came out around a month ago as Pansexual, Bisexual and Polyamorous.

Now im not able to love any more than 1 person, of that i am sure. But after researching ENM im convinced that it would be really good for our relationship.

I knew i was going to be the most difficult part of the transition(jealousy,insecurities) but we talked about it, read about it and concluded that this is what we want to do. From my side its mostly just about socializing without relationship pressure and having sex with new girls. For her its more about new emotional connections, new love. We also agreed on keeping this as our main and priority relationship with soon to be developed rules for hierarchy.

After 1 month of talking about it, R had this 5 day trip with a guy. Before parting ways we agreed that we are still developement of our relationships parameters. So we agreed on playing with the idea of being with another person when in the situation. Just to test out scenarios and how they could feel.

Fast forward to the end of the trip: R comes back glowing, talking about the wonderful trip with this guy. Seems like they have formed a strong connection. She says she is in love with him and that she feels that at this point that love could overgrow ours.(keep in mind they are workmates, have known each other for a few months only.)

At this point im completely hurt and confused. How can R leave for 5 days and come back with a stronger emotional pull to this man that for me after 6 years with me.

I feel like R told this guy that we were premeditating ENM and that allowed feelings to develop.

What hurts is that on my side i also went to a party and met a girl. We talked ,we touched a bit and it was nice. This would have convinced me that ENM is a good choice.

But now my GF of 6 years is in love with this guy and i dont know what to do.

I feel like i was emotionally cheated on. I feel like R was subsconciusly organizing everything to be able to detach from me and be with the guy. It does not help she says she felt nothing before the trip and love just sparked outta nowhere.

I she Not Poly now? Am i getting played here