My boyfriend of 7 months and I planned to have a fling. Neither of us was ready for anything serious and we had limited time before he was to move for his new job station. When we met he didn’t tell me he was ENM or wanted to be Poly…but we started as friends only because I said I didn’t want to date someone going through a divorce. He agreed to be Monogamous when we decided to have a fling and that’s when he said he had been intent on exploring “solo poly” but was okay with monogamy for a few months because he liked me so much. His move was pushed back a few months and after 6 months of bliss, we decided to try to stay together but navigate the possibility of ENM or Poly because of the distance (West to East coast)…but we required total transparency and openness. I check in often and He told me he hadn’t been on the apps and was totally happy with how things were going. One day he was particularly stressed and while we FaceTimed (which we do daily for hours or talk on the phone) I could sense his stress. I had a gnawing feeling and checked to see if I found his profile in his new area. I did and it said “active today”.
I confronted him about it and asked why he wasn’t forthright with me when we promised total transparency? He told me he wasn’t actively interested in meeting anyone just mainly was triggered by some divorce stuff and he uses it as an escape to disassociate just like he does playing games or being on Reddit.

He just visited for a week and we spent the whole week with my kids and his. Before he came home, he had “exploring solo-poly” on his profile because I told him that was necessary to disclose up front to people. (When we met he hadn’t disclosed that and we never would have matched if he had.) Now it just says what it said when we met “just out of an LTR not looking for anything serious”. No mention of being partnered or interested in poly. I’m not opposed to the idea of dating others or being ENM/Poly while we’re so far away but he doesn’t seem to be doing anything in a very transparent way. It seems to me it’s manipulative not to say what your partnered status is and desires up front.
I know it’s because he knows it will greatly reduce his pool of dates or matches.
This feels break up worthy to me. Am I being too rash?