Hi! I (38f) am asexual, my husband (40m) is super sexual. We've been together 16 years now. We've figured out our own sex life, but for me part of being ace is not being attracted to people, like I enjoy sex it's just people don't turn me on. Anyway. So for my husband a big thing for him is that he wants to feel sexy to someone. I gave the option of opening up our relationship and he took it, I haven't yet cause sex just isn't a big part of my life.

Anyway, he found someone he's been talking to and he seems to really like her, they haven't met yet for various reasons but both want to. I'm happy for him but I've been noticing hurt feelings in myself lately, it's things like, we will be sitting down to eat and he'll stop to talk to her, or we're having a conversation and he doesn't respond so I look over and he's talking to her. I get new relationship energy is a thing and I don't want to rain on his parade, it's not even like I'm jealous, it's just... Sad, I guess, like I feel like I'm less of a priority now. And I get that our life is very complicated - we also have two autistic kids that can be a challenge and tonight he said, in response to my eldest behaving poorly, "I should have just stayed outside, it was easier out there" (he'd been having some quiet time in the rain). And I couldn't help but wonder if this was partly him kind of seeing the neighbor's grass and wishing it was his (not sure if that analogy made any sense lol).

Anyway, I can probably answer my own question (I'd tell myself to just talk to him), but I think I want to hear it from other people too. Or tell me I'm being a jealous twat, that's an option too.