I am seeing a ENM married woman. By her account, and me having also seen her SO on Hinge (though their representation of their relationship/marriage and now they operate on the app is different) I believe theyre both consenting and knowledgeable of each other's dating outside the relationship for some years now having been married for a decade ish.

This woman is fantastic, loveliest human, beautiful, but seemingly completely different with me than her expression of intention on the app and its got me conflucted emotionally.

She very clearly stipulated we "wouldn't be dating" very no strings, fun sex etc on her profile.... Cut to she, of her own accord, inviting me out for coffees, wanting to go on walks with her kids, come over and ill cook you dinners. Really romantic in front of the fireside snuggled up chats. Yes we have sex, great sex. But the ratio is maybe 1 in 5 meetings, otherwise were very couply and relationshipy with her kids alot of the time which is fine theyre amazing too but feels close. The conversation is also really intimate and vulnerable. Childhoods, goals, dreams, jobs, ups & downs, struggles, kids. She affectionately communicates with me ALL the time, even when shes out at family dinners or lying in bed with her SO. I get Babe's xx photos of her kids, etc and yet when I've seen how she speaks with her S.O (granted digitally and once over the phone) it's not even remotely the same. Its clinical. Blunt - functional.

Shes said I make her happy and that she cares for me and really likes me. That she's had a nightmare when she's lost me and it's really scared her. She's said she wants to keep seeing me for a long time. Wants to plan trips with me and would it be ok if sometimes the kids came too. Were already seeing each other 4 times min a week at night and during the day, never when the SO is there and I always leave before (my choice) they're home.

This will likely sound awfully egotistical, but im starting to feel like we're living alot of the parts of a "relationship" she really yearns for but doesn't have? And i don't know how to rationalise this, as despite asking her early on what their couple boundaries were - one of which was very clearly I'll never leave my family for anyone or give more than I give to them... I cant help but feel the further along we get and the more intimate emotions and couple stuff she shares and i start wanting to share, were creating this kind of sad shadow life for her, of which im becoming an active participant.

I am now grappling with my increasing confusing feelings about this, alongside my unintentionally growing feelings for her.

Outside and experienced perspectives sought and appreciated please