For reference, my partner (23m) and I (23f) have been together for 6 years. We have both had same sex experiences separately while together, ever had a mfm threesome, and have spent time talking to the same people with the intentions of it leading somewhere sexually together.

However recently we’ve talked about opening our relationship up as far as dating goes. I’ve always been a little bit hesitant when it comes to him and other women, but the more that I thought about it the more I’ve grown comfortable with that idea and so we decided we would give this a try. We both have been talking with people, being open with one another more and generally things have felt a little bit better. This weekend, my bf was supposed to have his first date with someone he’s been talking to, and one of the ground rules that I said was that I didn’t need to know the gender of the person. I just wanted to know what they were doing and the general time frame so that I know he’s being safe & can make my own plans!

Last night while we were out, I asked if he had a better idea of the timeline for his plans this weekend. At which point he told me roughly the plan, and then continued to say “would it make you feel better if it’s a guy? Because it is.”

Following this conversation, there were several points last night, where he told me the name of the individual he’s meeting with as well as a little bit more information about them personally, but refused to show me a photo of this person .. all of that leading up to this morning when he texted me while he was at work and said he needed to come clean and tell me that the person he seen this weekend is in fact a woman and he’s not sure why he lied. He just felt the urge to spit that out last night.

Now I’ll admit - there’s no history of lying from him that I know of, but I’m feeling really conflicted, considering I set a boundary and stated I did not want to know the gender of the person & he willingly offered up this information in a lie..

Am I overreacting? I also was trying to make weekend plans with someone new & am now feeling conflicted about the whole situation because of his lie, albeit small.. it’s still confusing for me

TLDR: partner broke boundary and shared gender of first potential hookup willingly, but it was a lie. Feeling conflicted