First time poster, here.

My (39m)wife (32f) and I have dabbled in the LS for nearly a decade. We have never been very prolific. Maybe once or twice a year we'd find a couple we hit it off with, and things may progress. We were lights wingers, I guess you could say

I've always prioritized sexual health. Despite a very promiscuous streak back before we met, it was always important to me.

Recently, we had the discussion to try ENM. This appealed to us, for the simple fact that it's very hard to find another couple where everyone is on the same page, and has the same wants, boundaries, etc.

We were at a friend's thing one weekend, and she met this guy. Well call him M. He's a cool dude. He and I talked briefly. I know my wife's type, and figured she thought he was hot, but I never saw them talking all that much.

Anyways, the next day, she tells me they opened a dialogue on snap. Okay, cool. No big deal. Prior to him, she's has NO ISSUES finding guys. It's just easier for women, in situations. I'm sure you all agree.

Well, they start "seeing" each other. Pretty regularly. Almost to a level I'm not cool with.

Last Friday, she has a lady appointment. You know the drill. After the appointment, I get a text, saying that she and I need to talk. I make time at work to call her, and she tells me that the night prior, after having sex (this was probably about the 8th time in 2 weeks), that M told her he was HSV2 . She said she didn't wanna say anything to me until after her appointment. She said they had run tests, and we'd know more Monday.

I wanted to murk the guy. (Not really, but I was understandably really angry at him). Anyways, I decided to keep my cool, and determine what kind of conversation he and I were going to have after we got her test results.

The next day, on the way to an out of town concert, I start noticing holes in her story, about the night he told her.

I kinda hounded her, and she eventually told me that he told her as soon as she got there that night, and they had a long conversation, then they had sex.

Then she came home to me, that night, after knowingly having had sex with someone with genital herpes (with protection, she claims) and had unprotected sex with me. And didn't say a word.... Until the next day, after her appointment.... Which she lied to me.

She took away my ability to make my own decision regarding my own health, and to be honest, I just can't look at her the same way.

To make matters worse, she still wants to see the guy.

And to muddy the waters JUST A LITTLE more, I have recently met a girl that seriously blows me away. For the first time in my life, I've really prioritized getting to know the person, and I'm in awe of what an amazing person she is. I've purposely abstained from having sex with her, because I want to make sure I'm clean, before moving on. She and I have not had sex since the night she found out. It's been about 10 days, and no signs of anything. Her full panel blood tests came back negative for hsv1&2, bit to be fair, she could've caught it that night, after he told her, and the tests wouldn't have been accurate.

This whole thing is so fucked up.