My partner (M27) and I (F27) started as an open relationship, we gradually started only seeing others with each other present (swinging). We have had a MFMF and FFM. I am not new to this lifestyle and really enjoyed the open relationship, swinging, and couple dating. Iāve never been jealous during swinging/threesomes, I find them lots of fun.
Having been apart of this lifestyle I know a certain degree of jealousy can come in and out and itās normal.
There have been few occasions where jealously has come up on my end: - unclear expectations and boundaries - unexpected actions that imo cross boundaries
However, lately Iāve been super jealous of him fantasizing about other girls. I canāt watch p*rn with him anymore because I canāt help but feel he rather fantasize about the chaturbate girl instead of play with me. I feel more insecure lately and I think this plays into my jealousy. Iām not sure which came first, the jealously or insecurity. Iāve been so uncomfortable with this that Iād rather not do FFM anymore and just do MFMF so it feels fair, which isnāt a healthy way to view swinging so Iāve taken a step back until Iāve dealt with my emotions. We havenāt done MFM which may have something to do with my feelings but Iām not sure.
We have lots of love and care between us, and great communication. Iāve brought up the jealously before with regards to specific situations and weāve talked through them.
I just donāt understand why my jealousy isnāt going away and itās escalating. It makes me sad because I donāt want to be jealous. Iāve started watching boys on chaturbate to try and help break down the feeling that heās watching girls but Iām not watching boys, but it just doesnāt really work for me :/
Has anyone else experienced this? What are some possible explanations? How do you deal with this?
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