46m - I’ve been thinking lately about exploring ENM relationships. In January I stopped seeing my on again off again female partner of 18 years. She is the mother of my daughters and my play partner. We care deeply for one another but are not compatible as husband and wife. A couple months later I started dating a lady and we communicated better than I had with any of my past girlfriends and had a genuine connection along with feelings for one another. It was more a FWB situation, BUT I wasn’t completely attracted to her and the sex was just ok, I’m more than vanilla and I tried introducing her to a bit of kink, she was willing but after many attempts she just didn’t get into it at all. I suggested we start seeing other people and remain friends but she told me that she doesn’t share and I respect that. Everything was going well and I was finally happy having a friend for companionship and I had started seeing my ex again for sex and play only (because we know how to keep each other satisfied) and its not my practice to hook up with strangers. My friend ultimately decided to end it with me and started seeing someone else. It really hurt losing my companion and it left a void. Lately I’ve contemplated trying ENM relationships because I’ve never fully been able to find everything that I desire and need in one partner but I also know I want to find the one that matches me. I have a lot of love to give. I’m just not sure if it’s going to be with one or with a few. Hopefully I’ll make the correct decision for myself.