Sorry for the long post but I honestly don't know where else to turn at this point.

On a couple of apps and websites that I'm on for dating and hookups (still no luck after 10 years of trying), so many times I am called a liar and an ass for the relationship I have with my wife. So for context, My wife and I decided that we were going to open our relationship into an ENM marriage a long time ago. For many different reasons but mostly because of my high sex drive. After so many times of me wanting sex multiple times a day and her not being able to keep up, we decided that it would be best if she could "outsource" some of the sex so she can relax and I still get sex. Every time it is brought up in conversation almost anywhere the only thing we receive are men asking to be a third or straight out asking to have sex with my wife with or without me there. Or the most common is that they think I want to be a Cuck, I do not nor have I hinted at it anywhere.

I have told her and she understands and agrees that if she wants to then it's fine we both just have to let each other know about it before hand. In stark contrast anyone who I talk to for my half of the relationship automatically (and incorrectly i might add) determines that I am lying and I'm just trying to cheat on my wife. I simply do not understand how in the communities we are all a part of , and in the locations where we should be able to openly talk to and meet people there is such a lack of understanding.

Yes my wife and I will have 3 and sometimes 4 ways, but most of the time she tells me to go have fun and she's not interested. I am not nor do I feel I should have to get a signed and notarized letter from my wife as permission. It seems without it or without her being the one to start the conversation, I will continue to strike out. So far the only ones who seem not to care about me being married or our rules only ask for money. In my state that is HIGHLY illegal for starters and also I'm not going to pay for sex mostly because I feel that sex is something for mutual enjoyment. If I reach climax before my partner I can guarantee I will do everything I can to ensure they reach it as well. so I'm not going to pay anyone for BOTH of us or ALL of us involved to have a great enjoyable experience. I don't know what I am doing wrong or how to do it differently.

We have gone to events and Meet and Greets. We've tried talking to friends that are open to the idea and even some friends of friends. I tried to join multiple groups online that claim to be looking for similar things and those mostly became or already were more so a meeting place for people already in arrangements to talk among themselves with little to no interaction with new people. I know this is a long rant but I'm honestly at a loss here.

How can you possibly find a person to play with once or twice or a regular FWB when everyone calls you a liar with absolutely no possible proof or reason to assume it. Any thoughts , Ideas / suggestions are welcome. ALL I ASK is don't start commenting about how much I'm a liar for things I'm not lying about and have no way to prove otherwise.