I 34M married and monogamous to 35F. We've been together for 17 years now. Like every couple that's together almost 20 years, we've decided we might want to dip our toes into ENM, mostly in the form of threesomes.

At first, I was okay with this. It was a shared fantasy, after all. We started discussing this fantasy years ago but never following through with anything. We did have one single close encounter that ended horribly for almost everyone involved. To summarize, it ended with my wife, covered in her own vomit and myself, contemplating suicide. Obviously, she sobered up and I'm still around to ask all the annoying questions.

So here it is... How do you deal with feelings of insecurity and anxiety? Feelings of jealousy and possessiveness? How do you learn to understand where these come from and how to navigate them, so that we can experience and fulfill each other's fantasies? My normal approach to these issues, to ignore those feelings or expose myself to them so much that they don't bother me anymore, but that simply isn't gonna cut it this time.

Mind you, we've been together since high-school, almost half our lives together and she's the only woman I've ever slept with. It's safe to say I've put her on a pedestal, as I was brought up to.

Also, this isn't religious indoctrination B.S either. I'm not prudish or lame, I just want to confidently, explore this with her.