If you've had a similar experience, I'd like to hear from you:

I was poly for most of my 20’s. Got married > was monogamous for 5 years > opened up the marriage two months ago. We've been dating and calling it a “platonic marriage” but recently my husband initiated a conversation about rekindling things. I don’t know if I want something sexual with my husband. I doubt there will be a romantic component and emotional disconnect is the reason the relationship opened up in the first place. We’d continue practicing ENM. He does not want children.

I’m also involved with someone who is monogamous. He has complicated feelings about the fact that I’m ENM. It’s long-distance but intense. I want to visit soon to have these conversations in person. He wants children. I don't know if this thing will pan out between us but it has me wondering -- do I really want ENM?

I’m 34. I want kids if someone wants them with me. I wouldn't practice ENM if I had children (energy and resources issues, primarily). I feel that I’m at a crossroads. I can’t tell if ENM has been my answer to dissatisfaction with long-term relationships (that are actually just over) or if I’m genuinely interested in it as a lifestyle choice. I also worry that, as a solo poly woman, I might be compromising my safety and well-being. I am worried I won't meet someone who is also single/looking for a primary and practicing ENM.

I do feel that...I cannot be with someone who...I feel that my experiences with non-monogamy have matured me and opened me up to the world, to experience, and to possibility. My attitude and life philosophy...I don't know how to articulate this. My point is, I cannot imagine being in a relationship with someone who has...what I view as an "immature" relationship with jealousy/boundaries/trust/communication? I feel that I would come up against their limited perspective in other ways, other areas of the relationship. My baseline ENM expectation is sex/connection long-distance and while traveling, but I don't mind if my partner is poly or dates casually in our home city.

I'm sorry this is so disjointed, I'm still chewing on this. And my apologies if I'm not using the correct term for something, it's been a long time since I had to think about non-monogamy. The world was also a little different six years ago -- I can't believe how many people are going ENM in their 30s.

What do you think? What is your relationship with ENM? Do you have children? Did you ever find yourself at a similar crossroads? What did you do?