Hey Reddit, I (37m) and my partner (39f) have been actively involved in non-monogamy for about 5 years now. It all started with a spontaneous encounter, fueled by a little too much alcohol, which opened up a world of self-discovery and sexual exploration for both of us.

However, things have become a bit complicated. Our initial interactions took place on Kik, and it turns out that the majority of the people we've met (both individually and as a couple) are seeking to cheat on their partners. We recognize that this isn't ethically ideal, but it's where we find ourselves.

I've heard the advice that I'm not responsible for others' decisions, but deep down, I can't shake the feeling of being an accessory to their actions. On top of that, I have a partner that I have been together with for over 2 years, and while she mentioned discussing non-monogamy with her spouse in the past, it was brushed aside and never revisited.

Based on the information I've gathered, it seems that her current partner (NP) lacks support and involvement in their home and family life. She's currently focused on self-improvement, aiming to become more independent so that she can eventually leave him. It's not about leaving for me, but rather about her ability to take care of herself and her children without relying on him.

Ending the relationship is not something I desire, but I find myself grappling with uncertainty about my role in this situation. Over the past couple of years, I have been a significant source of support for her. However, I'm unsure whether I can categorize myself as "good" or "bad" given the circumstances.

I'm at a loss here, unsure of what to do or how to process these emotions. I would greatly appreciate your input and perspectives in helping me evaluate my situation.