I'm J, a single 35M who just starting seeing ENM folks romantically for the first time. I'm enjoying the experience and it's refreshing to find people who share my perspective on sex with others while still being in a relationship with a single person (though I know other people's situations and perspectives on ENM are diverse). I've always found that monogamy didn't really fit for me, but social pressures and stigmas prevented me from exploring ENM (along with my own other stuff).

In the past, one of the reasons I've been hesitant to commit to a single person in monogamy is because I have certain sexual needs and desires that may not be met by them, even if everything else is great. For sake of argument, let's just say they're kinks, preferences, or some other kind of gratification that the partner just can't fulfill. I distinguish this from my enjoyment of just generally experiencing sex with different people, which I think is just a great part of being human.

What I'm curious about is if the former point (needing/desiring to have certain activates/situations/kinks etc. fulfilled) is a common reason for being ENM for others, having the understanding between partner that some needs are best fulfilled outside the relationship. I'm asking to be better informed and to better communicate with future partners on the subject. Thanks in advance!