My partner and I have been together 4 years. And I love her. Profoundly.

However, she's a bit of a control freak. And also struggles with insecurity and anxiety.

Which is a problem because when we have issues. She does not engage. She feels criticized. So she shuts down and doesn't listen. Not until her issues are resolved.

But she also doesn't take responsibility for resolving those issues. So I must bring them up. She feels attacked. Shuts down. Rince repeat.

She deeply loathes the idea of expectations and responsibility to a partner. But we're in a rut, with no viable solution.

I've tried therapy but she feels attacked.

And the only solution I can see is for us to break the expectations of a partnership. To seek our needs from more than just each other.

Resolving the burden of expectation.

I was thinking of broaching the topic with her. Does this seem like a reasonable idea?