I can’t find anything about ENM in non-long term relationships, so I thought I’d make a post. I (21NB) started seeing someone (21M) about 2 months ago, we’ve seen/ slept with each other every week if not more since we started seeing each other. The sex is amazing, he takes me on really nice dates, I’ve met his friends, and it’s mutually passionate, emotional, and we both have the freedom to see other people. We’ve discussed multiple times how we both want to explore the “grey” areas of FWB and relationships, and believe we can find something where we can have our emotional and physical needs met without limiting sexual partners to just one person. We both want more for ourselves and our partners than a jealous, one-sided toxic FWB situation.

It doesn’t bother me when he talks about dates he might go on (although I don’t think he’s seen anyone new since meeting me) or people that are interested, I’m actually a little excited for him normally. I talk about potential dates too. But after we hang out and I go home or he leaves, I get so insecure about him seeing other people. I’ve definitely started to catch feelings but I really do think its possible to have feelings and not be so jealous or insecure all the time. If I wanted a serious relationship theoretically I’d like to stay open, but this point I’m thinking of cutting it off because I’m scared for how I’ll feel down the road. On the other hand, outside of the occasional anxiety, my experience with him has been nothing but euphoric. He treats me with so much kindness and generosity, and I don’t want to stop seeing him.

Any advice on how to work through this insecurity on my own without bringing it up to him? Or would it be better in this scenario to communicate my feelings of anxiety? I’ve been in long term monogamous relationships consistently since starting to date at 16, and I really don’t know how to bring it up while making it clear I don’t want a serious or closed relationship with him.