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When people express caring for me, I get angry, because by trying to "help" they are threatening the frozen shell I am addicted to.
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I don't have a lot to expand upon there but that's something I've noticed. Whenever any of my friends expresses any desire to help me escape my current situation it produces a fear response and I get mad at them and have to try to be polite and appropriately thankful. I don't want to escape. I want everything to stay exactly the same forever. Some part of me wants to not want this, but that part is imprisoned by the rest. I don't know how to accept help when it feels like harm.

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Posted
2 years ago