This is kind of like a personal journal post if anything…

So I’m back with yet another setback.

Thankfully, I’m feeling fully recovered (lungs wise) from my latest bout of covid.

Thankfully, my left foot is feeling better and I’ve gotten (and broken in) new running shoes for better support.

Thankfully, we finally don’t have any guests we’re hosting, so normal diet is back on! No more special occasion foods or restaurants that are particularly rich/heavy.

I have been planning to restart my 8 week program from the beginning today (Monday) for the last little while and have been looking forward to it. And then of course, another setback has occurred. But not the kind I would have expected.

My really close friend has died unexpectedly of a massive internal bleeding event on New Year’s Eve. She wasn’t feeling great the night before, and before the next morning, she was just…gone. We’re all super fucked up over her sudden death emotionally. But I’m experiencing physical symptoms that I had no idea could exist due to grief. My back/neck/head is aching as though I have a spine injury (which I definitely do not have). It’s shocking just how much my body has reacted to losing such a good - and young- friend.

I’ve been icing my head, as I often do for my headaches anyway, which has helped. I’ve been massaging my back very frequently, taking ibuprofen, stretching, doing yoga, changed to a firmer mattress (just switched to the guest bed for more support), increased electrolytes, etc. I’m still so stiff/achey/in pain and it seems to come in waves with the grief itself.

BUT, I have decided to push through it. My friend wanted to take back her health, and she didn’t get a chance to. This is my wake up call to make it happen for myself and my loved ones.

I’m about to head out for my week 1, day 1 run in a few minutes. I’m going to give it my best shot and then come back and immediately do some yoga, and then take a warm epsom salt bath.

I hope that this return to normalcy and real, physical activity will push through this surprisingly physical manifestation of the grief I’m feeling for the loss of my friend.

My other posts I was looking for advice or positive feedback. And that support was surprisingly strong and helpful. This post is more about personal accountability and almost like a journal post. If you’ve read this whole thing, thanks for doing so. It helped me to write this out to remind myself to keep moving forward on this journey to bettering my physical health.

My friend was always positive, sometimes annoyingly so hahah. So let’s all be positive together! Why not?

If you guys have any moments of personal success where you feel you really had to push through the challenges life throws you, I’d love to celebrate your wins and feed off those positive stories!

Update: I am very happy to say I successfully finished my W1D1 run! Feels good to have a win.