When I first started out with kink many years ago, I took on the title and role as a sub, but a lot has happened since then. Mainly, a lot of abuse which I've taken quite a long time to heal from, but also finding myself, including what I needed to be happy in my sexual and romantic relationships.

Now, I've taken on the complicated title of slightly masochistic bottom brat with occasional dom tendencies lol.....but even that doesn't feel quite right seeing as how I like being on the receiving end of bondage, I like wearing collars and being led around, I really like being commanded to do something....but ONLY if I actually wanted to do it and not because my partner decided that it is what they want me to do at the time. I'd I.D. as switch, but that seems to give other kinky people the impression that I equally enjoy being a dom as much as I like being on the receiving end, and that is definitely not the case.

I think the overall aspect is, I like it rough and kinky, I just don't like the idea of giving someone else complete control like I see a lot of subs doing. It reminds me too much of my past abuse.

WTF am I even?