(I posted this piece on r/BDSMnot4newbies and one of the moderators here asked that I share it in this space as well. The crowd over there is filled with perverts and many of them are members of both.)

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Fair Warning: Explicit Language follows... I mean... it's dirty talk. Hopefully we expect it to be a bit profane.

One of the ways you can make dirty talk easier is to describe what you are going to do before or as you are doing it. It's essentially just saying what you are going to do (or are currently doing) but using sexy language. ( I'm picking some anatomies and genders below but I hope you feel at liberty to borrow and tweak any of this phrasing for you and your partner. Dirty talk is for everyone. )

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Simple descriptive language:

• "I'm going to rub my pussy against your cock."
• "Mistress, can you feel me rubbing my pussy against you?"
• "I'm going to take your cock in my mouth."
• "You're fucking my ass so hard right now."

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Part of the reason why we like dirty talk from a partner is that it can make us feel desired so now taking it up to the next level you assert that your partner is so attractive you need to do these things because you are overcome with desire for them. (All consent rules still apply... this is about communicating desire and not violating boundaries.) Start to add descriptive language.

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Need Statements with more colorful language:

• "You're so fucking hot I have to rub my wet pussy against your cock."
• "Rubbing my pussy against your mouth makes me so wet I want to cum all over you."
• "I'm so fucking horny I need to suck your cock. I need to feel that hard cock in my mouth."
• "I can feel your big cock pounding my ass. Please make me cum, I need it."

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Another part of dirty talk is the release and permission it gives to admit to your own desires so you can evoke confessions of desire from your partner with questions.

Evocation of Statements of Desire:

• "Please sir, do you want me to rub my pussy on your cock?"
• "Can you feel me rubbing my pussy on you mistress? I want to feel how wet it makes you."
• "I need to be fucked sir, I love your cock. Do you want to fuck me sir? Please sir, tell me again? How much do you love fucking me?"

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You can also use dirty talk to put your partner at ease when you're performing oral. Your partner can worry that you don't like it, that while you're doing it things are one-sided so they could feel selfish, lots of things here. You can counter guilt with the same tools and you can help your partner relax into the moment. You are telling them it is okay and that you want to be there.

Permission statements... relax I enjoy this:

• "God, I love having you in my mouth."
• "Your pussy tastes so good."
• "Please, I need to get that hot little clit in my mouth."
• "I love sucking your cock."

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You can moan and touch yourself while engaging in oral, tell your partner you want to hear them cum, you can ask permission, admit that you're a naughty person who loves having a cock or clit in their mouth. It gives your partner permission to fall back into the experience.

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Think of dirty talk as these elements:

• Anticipation of actions - I am going to do this.
• Descriptions of actions - I am doing this.
• Communication of attraction with need statements - I need this because you are desirable.
• Evocation of confession of desire - Do you want this?
• Permission to enjoy attention - I love doing this for you and with you.

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Try using these patterns based on what you're already doing, what you know your partner enjoys, and that will take you a long way once you get it.

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DISCUSSION

• What are your best tips for Dirty talk?
• Is there a dirty talk experience you especially enjoyed?
• What is the kind of dirty talk that works for you?