I (53F) sub have been in a dynamic with my 50M Dom/BF for a year. We weren't 24/7 but had several protocols and daily rituals, and enjoyed spending time in play space about once a week. This has been one of the healthiest and most communicative relationships I've ever had. He takes his role of Dom seriously and constantly works on self-improvement. We have monthly collar-off check-ins and enjoy building our dynamic intentionally through podcasts and reading books together.

Unfortunately things took a turn three weeks ago when an event occurred that made us realize his drinking was out of control and we paused our dynamic while he is working on his sobriety. We still love each other very much and I agreed to stay in the BF/GF relationship. He has been going to AA daily and staying sober. We also have counseling sessions with a kink-friendly counselor.

We both really miss the BDSM part of our relationship and we've had a few preliminary discussions about getting back into it, at least temporarily in play space if not completely back into Dom/sub dynamic outside the playroom. We agreed to begin with negotiating a BDSM play session and seeing how it goes.

This pause has given me the benefit of stepping back from the dynamic to see what was or wasn't working for me, my own wants and needs, and how to stay independent and strong while still looking forward to being his sub. He is benefitting from lots of introspection as well. I've been journaling and making lists of things to share with him when we negotiate our dynamic again.

Has anyone ever been through this and can offer helpful tips or advice?