Hi community...looking for some feedback as I wrestle with this...thank you in advance for sharing.

I am relatively new to this scene, but have been intrigued, attracted for years. I am a mature cis-female and recently became involved with a Dom and the interactions are 90% online.

I am not submissive in the rest of my life, in fact in most of my working career I have been in positions of authority...I am inherently positive and somewhat outgoing by nature (though i do struggle with severe anxiety and depression at times)...and most definitely a feminist...to the point I have stood up and lost jobs because I refused to back down in instances of harassment or misogynistic behavior from owners or co-workers.

But the moment my Dom started calling me a dirty filthy slut, or praised me with "good girl" or ordered me to strip off my clothes, etc...I immediately turned to mush inside and was thrilled to have the opportunity to obey and please him.

Yes I get that it is a kink...but sometimes I just am trying to figure out how to reconcile this with my feminist side as well...they just seem so diametrically opposed when I think about it!! If anyone has any insight, I would greatly appreciate it...Thank you.