There are times, especially recently, that make me wish I could just exist outside time. Pause things and just enjoy a moment for as long as I can. This week has certainly been a good example of that. It may have just been a week, but with everything going on in the world, it's felt much longer.

Being more centered in my relationship and dynamic has helped some. Daddy gave me the task to spend a few minutes every morning to really think about how I'm feeling and tell him about that, along with my plans for the day and anything that's bothering me that I feel I need his help for, in addition to sending him a couple pics to 'present' myself to him the best way I can over long distance. I feel like having the first thing I do every morning be focused on both my mental health and serving him each day gets me in a good headspace, even if we don't have much time otherwise during the day to talk.

While we didn't have any plans this week, we were able to have an amazing scene. It was completely out of nowhere, we were just talking before we both went to bed. It was very service focused with a delicious side of pain so I spent a lot of time practicing my deepthroating with either pumps or clamps on my nipples. I can't say enough how amazing it was after everything last week to just relax and obey, focus on being his puppy and let everything else disappear.

We both agreed that in the future, I want to be free use for him in the beginning of our relationship. We just never really talked about how that would look like for both of us. Especially with the distance. So, after we both agreed that my mood was improved by being used the night before, we decided that it would be good for me to get used to that spontaneous 'using me' by him. It won't be easy with the distance but we're making it work. That decision led to another pretty mind blowing session together that morning.

The boost from that carried me through the rest of the weekend and helped me deal, at least a little with everything currently going on in the world. It's those moments I would pause and live in as long as I can. It's interesting how much letting someone else take control can insulate you from the bad parts of life.

Anyone else feel the same way? That when the world starts closing in, you need to submit more? I'm a little worried that I might be relying on that too much instead of actually developing useful coping mechanisms.