Hi people, I’ve found that from certain actions, like sucking my partners finger, will put me into a certain headspace where I’m extremely relaxed and 100% focused on my partner, I get nonverbal and sort of needy for physical contact, usually I notice some physical signs of arousal like getting wet and more sensitive like I often do when I just get plain old horny, but without really wanting to escalate. If we do escalate, which usually happens because my partners usually view me sucking their finger as a regular sexual act, probably kind of like a tease of blowjobs, which makes sense, I find that it usually pulls me out of that headspace? As much as this sounds lame usually it’s a bit of a letdown to be in that headspace and then they pull their dick out and I gotta get on my knees. I was hoping to find some clarity or maybe similar experiences about certain acts that may make you experience some amount of arousal but still not make you want to escalate?

Also ETA i know it’s always important to be open with partners, I don’t have a partner right now so this is just me wondering about my own experiences and not really a current issue, so no need for worries or anything.