When I was younger and exploring the community, I felt a little out of place because I wanted a LTR with somebody who I connected with and shared kinks with. As in, we would be a couple who engaged in mutually-enjoyable play.

I found a lot discussion about open-relationships or people who were looking to live the lifestyle openly in their everyday lives. That was never something I was into - I enjoy a vanilla exterior and to keep my kink life entirely separate, and with a partner that I am romantically involved with. And I want my professional image to remain professional.

Maybe it's selection bias, but I have found a lot of people want to live it more openly, and more publicly, which has kind of made me feel isolated. But I could be very wrong, and there could be a lot of vanilla "behind closed doors" types.