After five years of mostly bedroom play, my wife and I have decided in the past few months to expand our D/s dynamic and be closer to 24/7.

I have noticed my aggression and drive to be dominant fluctuates but there are things I can do to promote presence in a dominant state of mind. I’m hoping to find other tips that work for other doms as well.

In no particular order, I’ve noticed these work for me:

Consistency - the more consistent we are in the dynamic the more “default” my role in it feels

Scrutinize her - if I focus on my wife and the way she behaves and acts I naturally begin to find points to correct or change

External content - if I consume D/s content (podcasts and similar; not necessarily porn although that does seem to help too) I feel a drive to carry out or implement elements of what is being described

Exercise power (within established limits) - when I want or prefer something, make it happen. When I set a requirement, be inflexible in seeing it is carried out; do not allow the possibility of losing face by being a pushover and changing it in response to pouting or protest. If her preferences are strong, I have the option provide compromise in the moment by promising to take those preferences into account before the next time I make that decision, but I must not change my decision in the moment.

Limit my own refractory periods - this is honestly the big one. If I orgasm, I lose drive to dominate for a day or so. Since recognizing this I am judicious in choosing when to have a full orgasm. Instead, she knows to ruin my orgasms which relieves the “pressure” but keeps me in the right headspace.

What has worked in your experience to be more dominant or aggressive within your relationship?