[Cross-Posted from SubSanctuary]

Hello,

I know that basic advice is to get off the internet and go and meet real people in person at munches or rope bites or similar, but I am already doing that. And I also know that as with anything involving other people, be it friendship, romance, or dynamic, it takes time.

I think my main issue is just severe anxiety my alphabet soup of diagnoses, as I will go and meet people at munches, chat with them online, meet with them again at munches, and never actually meet privately. And due to my schedule recently, I have been unable to go to as many munches, but I will be starting to go to my original group every other month starting in January. My main issue is that because of the anxiety of interacting with others (it mostly goes away once I'm there), I am never consistent in a community enough to be invited to dungeons or parties, and I'm too shy to ask the organizers if I can join.

I also know that I am young, and I have my whole life ahead of me, etc., and that it can take time to find the person or people that you click with. I've been in the community for almost 4 years now, and I still have yet to go to anything other than munches and rope bites. I've met up with exactly one Dom outside of that, and have not met up again with him since then, though we do chat on occasion.

I guess my main question is just: How do you get over that first hurdle of anxiety and actually get to have fun with others in a kink setting? And does anyone have any other advice that is specific to what I mentioned above?