Being treated like a kink dispenser is when someone doesn’t read or ignores my profile, my wants and needs, and doesn’t treat me as an entire real person with feelings because all that matters is getting what they want out of me.

Sometimes these people manipulate or lie about their interests to get what they want and discard later, and sometimes they can’t even be bothered to try that hard. Examples:

Vanilla-leaning “pleasure Doms” DM wanting standard sexual stuff they can get off of Tinder but with a little more excitement. They ignore my profile/interests which is heavily masochist, often fake being Dominant and the role/importance it plays in their life/relationships. They don’t care what I want, they want me to dispense their sexual interests.

Swingers that ignore or sometimes even read my profile, which is that I was looking for a Dominant life partner for an ongoing serious D/s dynamic. In some cases this is what the couple have with each other, but have no respect that I’m looking for the same and just see me as a way to spice up their situation. “But you’re exactly what me and my partner find attractive, we think you’re so hot” was said to me. In this case they want me to dispense their fantasy of having a woman that looks a certain way to sleep with them both, and could care less that’s not what I’m looking for at all.

Submissive men, often ABDL, will DM me pretending to look for friendship. If I agree to chat, all of a sudden they’re talking about their kinks in a way too friendly way, asking questions that are inappropriate, or trying to get me to tell them to do something so they can get off on a woman indirectly dominating them. These men did not care that I am obviously submissive, they couldn’t find a Domme to get their needs met with so they try to get me to dispense their kink by lying about their intentions.

Polyamorous / ENM folks hitting on me when it very directly states on my profile I’m monogamous. Sometimes these are even in groups where I’ve chatted about relationships and preferences and they absolutely know my stance. However they haven’t been able to find anyone else that is hitting the right kinks for them and I’m their perfect match, minus the monogamy. Do you think they respect that? No.