I simply don't care for vanilla sex anymore. It doesn't fulfill me in any way beyond the most superficial pleasure, and I'm sure a lot of you can relate to how honestly kinda boring it is.

And I hate how that limits me. I can only have sex with selective partners, I constantly have to refuse people otherwise I might have been interested in, just because they aren't in my wavelenght. No shade to anyone, not everyone is into BDSM and that's fine. However, it's easy to feel alone and like you're a weirdo when you're constantly telling people they're too vanilla for you, especially if you otherwise would be interested in them.

This week alone I've missed out on two potential partners I was into because they're vanilla and I know I wouldn't have had a good time. Even with those who're interested but inexperienced it's easy to end up being more of a teacher or a guide than an actual partner. Again, no shade, we all began somewhere, but obviously safe veterans are going to be more enjoyable than someone dipping their toes into the lifestyle.

I used to enjoy fooling around fine enough, but it just doesn't do it for me anymore. It's all a big "that's it?" excercise. I've ended up imagining myself in different scenarios when I'm having vanilla sex just so that I can get some enjoyment out of it, so what's even the point in the first place?

Does anyone else feel the same way? What can I do? I need to find a way to at least have a decent time with vanilla stuff, otherwise I'm going to go insane.