It's interesting how some of my traits in daily life inform how I practice bdsm. For instance, I would consider myself to have a higher than average physical pain tolerance, but emotionally, I am baby. Very sensitive to things. That's reflected in the fact that when I do bdsm irl, I'm interested in taking a thrashing while simultaneously being praised and being treated nicely. That's not to say the humiliation stuff doesn't turn me on. It definitely does, in some ways more so because it hurts me more. But it's one of those things where I can't handle humiliation irl, but I can handle physical pain. It also gets into the whole "fantasy vs reality" thing, which is something I needed to grapple with before I could be at peace with being a sub/masochist. Fantasizing about humiliation is doable for me, doing it is a no-go for me. And that's ok.