I'm a 38-year-old gay man from Los Angeles County in California. I am married, but my husband and I both play separately with other people. My husband is very vanilla and is totally satisfied with oral and/or anal sex. He has no interest in BDSM at all.

I have always been into watching BDSM pornography. Mostly bondage, humiliation, free use, facesitting, worshipping, edging, e-stim, nipple play. Most of that is as a submissive, but I have some interest in being a dom too. I would like to strap a guy down and just be allowed to touch and rub and play with his body.

I say all this because I'm looking for a way to find someone to start doing these things with. My husband doesn't have any interest.

How does one go about finding a dom or a switch to play with?