broad context: married couple, M/s, Freeuse. Very much in love and into each other. CNC in the form of rape play is one of our main kinks. This post is written by the slave with full knowledge and support of her Master.

specific context : one of our favourite forms of CNC (I hope I’m not offending anyone) is low-key marital rape. I get taken most night ‘against my will’. I may be awake, asleep or anything in between; I am handled in any position my Master wants me to be, and used.

Sometimes it’s more violent, hair pull, hand on mouth, ‘do not scream nobody is going to hear you’ kind of rape, other time is just matter of fact him claiming what’s his. My wanting or not does not matter, and neither does my orgasm. I hardly ever cum from this but I really enjoy it.

the events: last night my Master used me a couple of times during the night, fondled me all night (I seem to remember there was some facefucking too although things were a bit blurry) and then he used me again early in the morning, forcing my legs open when I was half asleep, coming inside me, really really hard. I’ve been his willing sex doll all night, no orgasm for me but as I said my orgasms are irrelevant.

Now the thing is, we have been doing this kind of play many times and I love it, but this time I did not just loved it I LOVED it: afterwards I felt not only more submissive than I’ve ever felt before but completely blissed out and blessed. In a different way from the ‘usual’ subspace. I reach subspace easily - in fact, I usually experience 2 kinds of subspace: the euphoric kind and the ‘out of it intense scene kind’ - but this was a completely different feeling. It was as if I had been fucked by a god. Like I have reached enlightenment, Nirvana, moved up a level, I don’t know but this feeling is new, beautiful, intense. Like it’s love 2.0. I cannot even begin to tell you how powerful this feeling is.

my questions for the community: is this a new, third kind of subspace? Does it happen to you? Do you connect it with CNC? Or have I officially lost my mind?

Edit: sneaky autocorrect.