Long story short: I used to be a Dom for like 4-5 years with my ex-ex-partner. Together with my partner we have been through a lot.

We read books together, participated in meetings, tried lots of new things together.

My ex-relationships were 100% vanilla.

Currently, I’m dating a vanilla person, who is fun of choking, dominating and all of stuff like this, yet never experienced.

I’m facing a strange feeling: I did realise, that I need BDSM in my life, yet I have strange feelings: A) it’s difficult for me to do BDSM with person I love B) today I realised, surprisingly for me, I don’t really know where to start and where to go

During my life I have introduced several people to BDSM and they liked it and keep doing it, yet I have had feelings towards these people. I mean, sure we respected each other and there were passion, but it was not love, if you know what I mean. I feel that currently, I don’t have BDSM vibe, but vanilla vibe even we both want BDSM.

My main questions are: 1) if you can, can you recommend something for me, to open my BDSM powers so to say 2) what learning path would you recommend to go through?

P.S. we do speak a lot about it. We do remember about safety (I’ve read enough posts about both physical and mental health of different subs, so I’m extra careful in this matter). We do trust each other

Thank you!

P.S.S. 10 years in BDSM, yet feels like I am a newbie myself :)