So I have a few kinks, including bdsm and hypnosis. One main thing that that is common to both of those, is having rules. I like rules. Things like “When this happens, do this.” There’s no gray area to make a mistake as a sub when I have rules to follow, I know exactly what my partner wants and when they want it. And when I’m a dom then I know my sub is going to do exactly things that I like and enjoy, when I want it. It just feels safe to me! And in a way it’s also like a fun game, if you get creative with the things that trigger your rules.

All of this has gotten me thinking if I actually like bdsm dynamics specifically, or if I just like clear expectations about sexual needs, and feel safer communicating them by setting up rules to follow. Similarly with hypnosis, I wonder if I just enjoy the idea that my rules will be followed exactly. Is there a name for having kink for rules…?

Would love to see what others think about this topic. I wonder if I feel this way because of bad past experiences, or maybe because I have OCD and like clearly defined things.