What is the name of this kink/fetish? I think it's being done to me...

Is there a fetish where a person seeks to be the best lover someone has had, and then that person repeatedly stands up the person who's world they rocked? Someone mentioned it on Reddit in a post where a woman asked why she would be ghosted after great sex. Here's what their comment said

"You ran into a guy with ruining festish. He put on a show because he gets off on other guys not being able to compete and you begging for round 2.

It's not discussed very much.

In hookup culture, there are two types of guys who give it their absolute all in the bedroom and very much know what they are doing.

1. Guys who get off on getting women off. These guys find deep satisfaction in pushing a woman's pleasure to the edge of too much. The more fun a woman has, the more likely they'll come back for more.

2. Guys who get off on 'ruining' a woman such that regular sex with a regular guy won't ever be the same. Denying a woman begging for another romp is their ultimate high."

So i read this comment and now Im dying to find out more about it. I know i might sound like someone who is just fucking a dude who really isn't that interested, and that's what I assumed - we keep making plans, then day of comes and he will just no show with no message, then ask to meet up again a few days later.

I'm (44f) a swinger, and this guy (ill call him Ty) would traditionally be out of my league, but the decks are stacked in women's favor for NSA sex, so I pretty much always choose guys that are out of my league for being the third in mfm threesomes. I'm also very forgiving about cancelations - I know I'm happy in my relationship, and these casanovas are all pretty much out there trying to find their primary, so I understand our hookups take a backseat to more exciting offers, and I roll with that.

Ty is a pleasure dom. Hes actually the first guy we went on a date with when we got on the apps and we're brand new to entering the swinging world. I hadn't realized that our first date with him was going to remain the most exciting date we would ever get. But we didn't fuck that night, we just made out, he had previous plans made so we couldn't hook up, the kiss was epic.

The first time we hook up is on my birthday, my hubby gave me to him as a present (best gift ever!) Ty literally had me doing things I didn't know were possible. I was absolutely delirious by the time he was through with me. Just wow. The next day he sends me a bunch of sexy text messages and tells my hubby what a blast it was, and we all agree it's gotta happen again and soon.

Since then he has made plans with us 5 times, and everytime he ghosts us on day of. But he spends a bunch of time leading up to the night sending super sexy messages, so i don't think it's a complete lack of interest. Heres some of the stuff he sends

I'm excited for you to be my date tomorrow, Can't wait to make you soak my sheets, Can't wait to get my hands and mouth on you again

I can't wait to make you cum, shake, squirt, quiver and moan out in ecstasy again. I want to make you lost for words

I want to leave you exhausted, gasping for breath, right before I make you cum again

I'm actually really excited you and I get some one on one alone time tomorrow night, Are you OK with it? Definitely want to make sure you're comfortable, I'm excited to use some toys on you to make you cum even harder

Honestly, I'd rather be staring at you all night. It's the truth, I would love that. I REALLY want to taste you again....I love that you're such a good girl and listen so well 😈

And then day of, no show. Every fucking time. No apologies, no explanation, just a text a few days or weeks later looking to start up again. What the fuck is happening? I tried looking up "ruining fetish" but all the Search results i get are about fetishes ruining someone's life. Can someone please send me a link if they know about this?