Hey hey! I’m 23F, currently living in nyc. Prior to moving back to the city, I was living in london for awhile, and that’s mainly where I started going to play parties regularly. I had the most overwhelmingly positive experience with the kink community there both in and out of play spaces. Their non play social scene (predominantly populated by munches) was incredibly robust. Additionally the play parties were interconnected with a lot of positive cross communication/pollination of people.

When I returned to nyc I was deeply excited to explore the scene here. I used Fet a lot in london, which is where I typically found my favorite munches if not through word of mouth. Fet in nyc is very different than in london. There are less munches and a lot more shady (?) motel gang bangs apparently. I was kind of thrown off. I also noticed that play parties operate very differently here. Obviously the laws are different, so parties don’t happen in club/rave spaces with proper bars like they do in London. Membership is also a lot more exclusive. Parties are more expensive. There’s a strange air of deep tension between play parties. Also, munches don’t seem to be as popular here. The demographics in munches don’t reflect who’s going to more popular parties. So I’m like, how are people connecting here outside of play? Where are people making friends, exchanging knowledge, finding connection?