Not in a consensual context. I mean you're looking for and vetting play partners or life partners with common sexual preferences so it obviously starts off in a sexual way. You both articulate that you're looking for more than just play and set up a date. But soon after they only care to talk about kink. They gloss over the non-kink conversation starters you text. You think, "maybe they just hate texting" or "they're busy and we barely know each other." But you can't help but notice the way they want you to share a fetish picture but won't send you even a vanilla pic in return. Or how they slowed down their texting and aren't excited in their messages leading up to your first meet.

How common is this? I'm honestly hating all the sights. The lack of people committed to personal growth or just the people who can't look at a person nude or sensually and see a whole person instead of reducing them to just that one aspect. Like, I can admire the beauty and vulnerability of Fetlife users posting content while still seeing them as a person instead of porn. I'm not perfect, definitely have just used online content as a means to an end.

Overall life just feels like everyone uses you as a means to an end to derive pleasure of some kind. There's little desire for people to develop deep relationships with one another. On fet, feeld, tumblr, or just regular life are full of takers instead of reciprocal givers. Finding it super hard to find mature adults who want me as a whole person even I back burner kink.

It's even worse as a woman cuz I can't even embrace my sexuality as part of a bigger picture without men focusing on it. It's still feels like there's a big madonna/whore complex.