I am looking to the community for advice on how to manage sub drop that feels like heartbreak... but my Dom is now my live in romantic partner. I am feeling so torn that they want to scene with new people, and so do I, but I miss our dynamic and mourn it even after it fizzled out six months ago.

For context: My Dom (nonbinary) and I (ftm trans guy) met on Grindr and it was a lightning in a bottle scenario. It was ny very first time truly indulging being a sub, something I fantasized about my entire adult life. Through our play I found myself coming into my own as the kind of femmey flirty and fun creature I knew I wanted to be. Our play soon evolved and we started dating (non monogamously for both of us) outside the kink dynamic. That too felt incredible! And we were still doing scenes, all was well. Then things got shaky with their nesting partner, so I asked them to move in here. Through a very difficult breakup I was their emotional rock. The power dynamics changed and shifted. Now we are fully enjoying building a home together and I love being the Emotional Top (so to speak) of the relationship.... But I still need to be active in BDSM for all of the wonderful reasons I started it.

Has anyone ever experienced having to put a D/s dynamic down with a romantic partner when that's how you met?? How do I better express to them, without making them feel lacking, that I am having grief seeing them start to scene again without me?? I feel awful and inadequate as a sub, which isn't logical, but I can't help but feel a little replaced. Truly, this isn't relationship advice I need, I just need some guidance on how to handle this from a D/s perspective. I just want to get my dumb, pretty face smacked around!!