Like I'm a male sub and I'm super into humiliation as a fetish and I really enjoy it in all its forms during play. But obviously I don't really enjoy humiliated when I'm not horny/feeling it.

Perhaps coincidentally perhaps not, I'm also really insecure and anxious. Like I really struggle approaching people in public and am constantly feeling like I give off a "weird" aura and that's why I've struggled to find partners.

I was firsg diagnosed with anxiety at 14 (I'm 24 now) so I have had a lot of exposure to handling those emotions and in general day to day I find it relatively easy to strike up conversations with strangers both men and women without much thought.

My particular problem is approaching girls, particularly girls my age, in a "forward" manner (i.e. making my intentions clear that I'm interested in them) when I feel the struggle with this it's mostly insecurity due to a multitude of personal, nonsexual reasons (namely that my past is full of complications and instability) I generally feel like I'm worth less than other guys my age because a lot of my late teenage years was spent being moved around a ton (as an example forced to move to Florida at 14 then accused of cooking meth a week before senior year starts so I leave to live with my dad and his GF kicks him out because he didn't tell her. That event in particular is a sore subject because it leads to the hardest year of my life full of different struggles and culminated with 2 short stints in mental hospitals)

I'm sure you can see I struggle with grappling my past but a part of me wonders if my humiliation fetish could be either a symptom or (to some extent) a cause of my nervousness around girls my age. It is a big aspect of male sub humiliation porn so I wonder how it effects my subconscious self perception.

I really don't struggle with older women but generally I look too young for them and they're not necessarily interested.