(TL;DR at bottom)

Hi all! I recently ended a 3-year relationship with my ex, who was submissive. Important to note that I initially intended to just be his dom, but our chemistry was so off the charts that at the end of the first meetup we both agreed we couldn't keep it casual and he became my boyfriend.

Fast forward to now, two months post-breakup, and I feel like the same thing is happening... I wasn't looking for a romantic relationship but I wanted to get back into kink, and I found an incredible submissive who is everything I've ever wanted: obedient, kind, attentive, collaborative. He makes domming feel exciting and effortless. And I'm starting to feel Those Feelings.

We both agreed on how necessary an emotional connection is for kink—I've done pickup play and the whole "sleeping with strangers" thing and I'm no longer interested in people who can't even hold a conversation outside the bedroom. So it's not like I want to stay totally emotionally distanced. But in addition to our kinky activities—doing scenes, attending classes and events, him teaching me rope—we've been hanging out in vanilla contexts as well. Getting dinner and brunch, sleeping over at each other's places, cuddling, watching movies, cooking, playing video games together.

It's wonderful, but I don't know what to make of this relationship. I've only ever experienced these things in a romantic context before, and along with my affection for this person, I feel confused, like we're calling it a D/s dynamic while also doing more intimate vanilla stuff. Have any of you experienced this? Am I misinterpreting emotional connection as romance? How can I hold onto this great dynamic without falling into another relationship?

TL;DR - My relationship with my sub is branching out into increasingly "relationship-y" contexts. I know the standard advice is just to talk to him, but I'd like to hear others' experiences first to gain some clarity.