I’m at a point where I’m looking to settle down and start a family. I’ve never actually been in a BDSM relationship but I’ve started exploring chatting with people online. After receiving over 1000 messages and talking with one dom for over 8 months just for him to end it abruptly I’ve been so turned off from the whole thing.

So many of the messages I receive from ‘doms’ give off the same energy.

The selfishness, the arrogance, the underlying insecurities, demanding subservience before establishing a connection, the negging and immediate disrespect, trying to take advantage of my history with trauma just for an ego boost. Brother ewww 🤢

I’m demisexual and a lover girl at heart and handing your energy to people who only care about getting off or their own needs eventually takes a toll on your self esteem.

I think I’m giving up for now and seeking a vanilla relationship with someone who is willing to love and respect me just as much.

Someone who enjoys spoiling me just as much as I am devoted to them. Who brings me flowers randomly, someone with great communication skills. He is the epitome of who I’d want as a father and a husband.

I’m just scared that I wouldn’t be as satisfied in the bedroom, but it’s best to prioritize your future and overall mental health.