We attended a comic book and fandom convention recently, and had a great time. A whole row of booths was dedicated to LGBTQ writers, artists, and crafters. Rainbows and all the color combinations that signify the many relationships were represented on bracelets, chain mail, stickers, perler beads, and crocheted crafts. You can see where this is going: nowhere was BDSM represented. No black and blue stripes, no flags, nothing. We stopped at one sticker booth that had a table covered in stickers and asked if there was a BDSM Pride flag. The vendor shook his head and said, “That’s not socially acceptable.”

We love that (in many ways, certainly not all), society has become more accepting of LGBTQ people and lifestyles. Yet for all the talk in the media and public discourse about inclusion and acceptance, kink seems to be absent from the equation. There may not be any laws specifically targeting kink like how Section 28 targeted LGBTQ people, but we think most of society has not caught up with accepting kink the same way it has in accepting LGBTQ .

To be clear, we’re not talking about engaging in sex acts in public. We’re wondering about what’s at the core of the sentiment that a rainbow flag is “socially acceptable,” and a BDSM Pride Flag is not.