I'd describe us as mostly vanilla (I'm slowly trying to change that) but our sex life is good when we have it. We don't strike, hit, choke or humiliate each other during sex. We're good communicators and don't have a problem talking about sex.

The other day she picked out a dirty story to read and it was about spanking. I asked her if that was something she was interested in and she said she'd be willing to try it, but wasn't sure it would be a turn on.

Some of the things she's mentioned as turn-ons include when I pull her hair or pin her arms, things that make her feel lightly dominated. So I feel like spankings are worth a try.

How does it work?

• Is it about the psychological aspects of being vulnerable and dominated that turn into sexual arousal?
• Is it about pain releasing endorphins which charge the body?
• I know your pain threshold lessen the more you become aroused, is there a point where pain is converted into pleasurable sensations?
• Am I looking to thud her or sting her?
• If you think back on your BEST spanking experience, what did you like about it?

I feel like it's hard to decide how to do it to her, if I don't know what it is I'm aiming for. Any thoughts?