I spout off a lot about how practicing submission comes from a place of self respect and self love.

Earlier tonight some one poasted a list of movies on here they labeled wierd femdom porn. With no flair

There was a movie in there that I wss unaware existed. It's about a mass kidnapping and torture of helpless individuals and the scenes depicted were almost identical to childhood tramas.

Now that the shock panic attacks and ptsd symptoms have worn off I'm now wanting to be hurt. Not wanting to be a subisive I want to be a victum again.

I feel like every bit of progress has been taken from me and that im lost and helpless again. I've lost my self respect and self love. There's just a twisted emptiness now.

Has anyone ever exprenced something simlar and have any advice for imedate next steps?

I'm so sory if this hurts anyone or Is agest the rules I'm not trying to start drama I just feel hurt and don't know what else to do.