When my wife and I first got into the kink world a couple of years ago (we each date solo), I was pulled in pretty rapidly into the hotwifing and cuckhold worlds. It wasn't intentional at all, I really was a bit of a deer in the headlights in terms of not really knowing what my own actual kinks were and just being open to whatever interactions the universe brought my way.

I don't know whether it was by chance, or whether its a role that black men get pigeonholed into within the kink world, but going on apps like Feeld most of the matches that I got initially (like 75%) were from MF couples who were either male cuckhold or hotwife (or both). Note that all of the couples were either white or Asian. I'm sure most of the people here are aware of the specific racial dynamics at play, but I was a bit clueless at first because of how new everything felt.

So as is normal for newbies, I probably overdid it. There was a point where I was hooking up with a new couple every weekend. And it felt perfect for me at first - the sex was very intimate without there being any expectation of emotional attachment. But something that REALLY soured me to cuckholding and hotwifing (and those who look at my nsfw post history can see the clear ick I get from cuckholding now) was the fact that over time...I couldn't tell if I was in on a unique sexy connection between the couple, or if I was participating in a poly under duress situation where one of the couple was faking their enjoyment out of fear of losing the other partner.

There would be little red flags at first. Like clear misalignment of goals/interests when I would chat with the husband and the wife separately (we would have group chats, but if the husband wasn't participating in the sex or if the wife and I were to meet 1:1, I would also consensually speak with the wife solo). Or little emotional/non verbal cues I would get like husband not able to look me in the eyes, or the wife ignoring the husband during what was supposed to be an actual MFM threeway.

There would be big ones, like the husbands who would reach out to me separately/be porn director in the room and demand I do certain things that I know 100% their wife didn't actually enjoy. Or wives who would carry on the humiliation of their husband aspect outside of the bedroom, in just normal text conversation. Then there were the women who had a hall pass only if their husband was there who would clearly try to meet up outside of that arrangement. And for the humiliation/degredation part...I really never could tell how much was sexy talk to rev up the husband vs her (or him even) saying what she really felt about her husband. Then there were the couples who only had sex with black men. I didn't realize how much I hated raceplay until one husband started talking about BBC to his wife while I was inside of her and I have never lost an erection so quickly in my life.

The last MF cuckhold couple I saw, it was pretty much all of those flags together. And then when I met up with the husband for coffee to just share what I felt, it came out that she had been cheating and that hotwifing with him present was their compromise instead of getting a divorce. And honestly that just broke me. I now actively avoid married couples, and the 2 MFM's that I have done since then (about 9 months) have been with a single M and single F who just happened to be friends, but without romantic attachment.

Curious about the experiences of other regular male thirds with couples - particularly non-white men, as I feel that the kink world in the US at least leans heavily white and the cuckhold/hotwife space even moreso.