I'm working on a book about kink in mainstream movies and TV, and I'm struggling to talk about Secretary. In part, so much has already been written on it, so I'm not sure I can say anything new.

What's really tripping me up is Lee's self-c*tting, and other self-h*rm actions. It's not in the original short story by Mary Gaitskill. Lee's compulsion is triggered by her chaotic home life and particularly her alcoholic father.

The simplest reading of the film is that Lee stops simply because Mr. Grey tells her to stop, and her BDSM scenes with him fulfill the same need in a better way. I think that's what most vanilla viewers would take away from the film, but it's a naive assumption that self-h*rm and sexual masochism are the same thing.

A slightly more nuanced version is that Mr. Grey provides the orderly environment Lee never had, and when he tells her to stop, she's already ready to stop. Her masochism is thus separate from her self-h*rm.

There's also the question of why Lee's self-h*rm is part of the story at all. Does it make her BDSM scenes with Mr. Grey more acceptable to the vanilla viewers by contrast? Does it make her a problem that needs to be solved?

I've been in the kink scene for about 25 years, and studied a lot about it. But I know nothing about self-h*rm, and I'm hesitant to say anything about it even in the context of Secretary.

What does Secretary say about self-h*rm in relation to BDSM?