Hello,

I’m found myself in an interesting situation and wanted to know if any of you ever had the same situation.

I am into BDSM for a quite a while. I’d say around 7-8 years already.

During the last years I have had multiple relationships or “partnerships” (as we called it) with people who share BDSM kink.

Just also to add detailed, I visited several Munches, BDSM meet ups, read quite a lot literature about BDSM; met Subs who were more experienced than me and they showed me a lot of interesting things about both BDSM and me; probably I can say, that I also assisted some people in getting into our kink and falling in love with it.

What I mean, is that I consider myself kinda “experienced” and I’m surprised, that I am confused… yet there is always room for improvement and it’s never late to learn something new, so here I am - ready for the advice.

Situation is the following: I spent one year in relationships. My partner was not a BDSM fun - like at all. So I just put this part of me in the closet and forgot about it.

Eventually we stopped our relationships. Even I was initiator of the split, I didnt have a sexual desire right after the split for quite a while. So ~1/2 year passed before I wanted to have a sexual experience with someone.

Than I “got back to normal”; had several dates and, let’s say, got back on track.

6 month ago I met a person, who is into BDSM. We are almost in relationships. I guess, I love and I want this person. We have passion,

BUUUUUUT

I CANNOT ACTIVATE MY DOM MOOD.

I loot at the mirror and I’m like: what the hell?

Do I want be dominant? Yes, definitely. Does the person want and is expecting me? Yes, sure. Am I experienced enough? I think, I am.

But my brain is not braining and even I have BDSM dreams during the night, when I look at my partner - I just cannot activate it.

It feels that I have a great sport-car in my garage, but I allow myself only to sit in it, but never drive outside the garage, if you see what I mean.

Sorry for the long question, but to formulate it: How are you, Doms, get back into BDSM mood after a long pause?